Total Drama Island Remastered
by DestructiveMilkshake
Summary: Twenty-four campers and one hundred thousand dollars. Alliances will crumble, friends will become enemies, romances will blossom, and of course drama will ensue. But what if the original campers weren't the original campers? Total Drama Island AU.


**A/N**

 **Hi. I've wanted to do a fic for a long time, so I figured I'd finally do one. Anyways, on the surface this is your typical TDI reimagining with a few things changed. However, I've decided I want to do something different. So with that in mind, I created this thing. I took the 2 WT newbies, all of the ROTI cast, and 9 out of 14 of the Pahkitew Island cast, and used those 24 people to make my own season of Total Drama. In case you're wondering the reasons for me cutting the Pahkitew people that I did, I evaluated how much I liked them/how I felt they would fit in the original season, and decided to take out the ones I did not feel up to writing for. Now, I do have plans for the missing characters and they will all be making some sort of appearance in this fic, so fans of them, don't worry.**

 **Anyways, this is obviously a competition fic, and in fact is my very first attempt at fanfiction for Total Drama. I do hope/plan on this fic lasting to at least All-Stars, so wish me luck on that. With that being said, the pairings in this story that I 100% plan on are Sam/Dakota and Shawn/Jasmine. There will obviously be fanon, and some of the unmentioned canon pairings still have a chance.**

* * *

 **1.1 - Not So Happy Campers - Part 1**

"Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. I'm your host, Chris McLean! Dropping season one of the hottest new reality show on television, right here, right now!" **Chris, the Handsome Host,** announced as he walked down the dock.

"Here's the deal: twenty-four campers have signed up to spend two and a half months of their summer right here at this crusty, crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, then will have to face the judgement of their fellow campers. Every three or so days, one team will either win a reward, win nothing, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the Boat of Losers," Chris chuckled. "And leave Total Drama Island, for good."

"Their fate will be decided here," Chris chimed as he moved to a clearing with several tree stumps and a sign. "at the dramatic campfire ceremonies, where every three days, all but one camper will receive a marshmallow. In the end, only two will be left standing to battle it out to win." Chris tossed the twig behind him, and continued by appearing back at the dock. "Their reward for victory will be cheesy tabloid fame, and a small fortune of one hundred thousand dollars, which let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week. Maybe less."

"To survive, they'll have to battle black flies, grizzly bears, disgusting camp food, and… each other. Every moment will be caught by one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp, which will catch every last second of their wacky shenanigans, dramatic breakdowns, and fights."

The camera finally returned to the Dock of Shame where Chris stood, grinning a smile with his pearly white teeth. "Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here, right now, on: TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!"

* * *

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doin' fine,_

 _You guys are on my mind._

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see,_

 _I wanna be… famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun,_

 _Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won,_

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _Cause I wanna be… famous!_

 _Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!_

 _I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!_

 _I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!_

 _*whistling*_

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Island! Alright, now it's time to meet our first thirteen campers. We told them they'd all be staying at a five-star resort," the host mentioned. "So if they seem a little PO'd, that's probably why. Anyways, with that out in the open, it's time to meet our first camper: Sierra!"

 **Sierra, the Obsessive Firecracker,** appeared at the end of the dock with her one rolling bag of luggage, and after seeing the host she squealed and rushed over to him.

"Oh em GEE, it's really you! THE Chris McLean! I am so excited to meet you, especially after my re-re-re-watching of your most recent movie, "Bad Boy Billy", oh my gosh, your acting was on point in that film. It's a shame that more movies don't make use of your exceptional talent." The fangirl then took a big sniff above the host's head. "You smell better than I could have imagined…"

"That's nice," Chris stated in a bugged manner as he used his hands to clap shut Sierra's mouth. "What would be nicer is if you stopped your, uh, yabbering. I'd appreciate if you stood over there," Chris jutted his thumb behind him, "Where the campers are supposed to go. A safe distance away from me."

Sierra sighed and walked over to the other far end of the dock, giggling and ogling the host the entire journey there.

"Any-whoo, let's meet our next camper, Dakota!"

"Hey everyone! Dakota here and I'm here to win this competition and… and…" **Dakota, the Spoiled Fame-Monger,** took off her orange-tinted sunglasses before scratching her head. "Uh… Chris? Where's the five-star resort I was promised? Because this… is a pretty crappy resort."

"You weren't promised anything. You would've known this if you were to, y'know, read your contract. Welcome to Wawanakwa!" the host responded.

"Humph!" the spoiled princess pouted. "I'm telling _Daddy_ about this…" Dakota put the phone up to her ear until the host snatched the phone.

"I'll be taking that." Chris said as Dakota grew a horrified expression on her face. "No outside communication until the end of the season. You'll get it back once your time on the island is over, but for now, this phone is mine."

Dakota grumbled as she walked over to the other end of the dock. Dakota just folded her arms and stood silently next to Sierra as the next camper's boat arrived.

"Say hello to Zoey!" Chris announced.

"Hey, it's really nice to actually be here!" **Zoey, the Small-Town Retro Chick,** said as she shook Chris's hand. "I am so excited to be at summer camp and to meet new people!"

"Good for you, I guess. Stand over there by the others." Chris pointed to the end of the dock where a leering Sierra and a still-pouting Dakota stood.

"Okay…" the retro girl responded while she walked over to the other girls. "Hey, I'm Zoey! What are your names?" Neither girl responded as they were preoccupied with either ogling Chris or plotting Chris's downfall. "Oh… I guess I'll just stand here then." she said awkwardly.

"Next up is Brick!" Chris said as **Brick, the Cadet,** marched across the dock.

"Brick MacArthur reporting for duty, sir!" he shouted in an ecstatic manner as he marched across the dock.

"That enthusiasm will go away soon…" Chris murmured.

"What?"

"Er, nothing." Chris replied defensively.

The cadet just continued his march over to the others and quickly greeted them. "Pleasure to meet you, ma'ams!" he saluted.

"It's nice to meet you too!" Zoey replied as she moved to shake his hand, only to be interrupted by Sierra.

"Look, I appreciate your flirting-"

"Huh? I wasn't flirting-" Brick tried to explain before he was cut off again.

"But right now, I have my sights set on someone else. A real hottie if you ask me. So you can back off." Sierra returned her gaze at Chris and licked her lips, causing a disturbed Brick to move away. The next boat arrived seconds after, and Chris continued his established routine.

"Lightning and Jo!"

 **Lightning, the Athlete,** quickly jumped off the boat onto the dock. "Hold your applause, Sha-Lightning has arrived on the ball-field. Feel free to quit while you're ahead, because Lightning always wins, and never surrenders!"

"Don't get so overconfident already, jockstrap," **Jo, the Competitive Jock-ette,** snorted as she also arrived off the boat. "I for one am ready to take you and all of these losers on." The jockette looked around and raised an eyebrow at Chris. "You sure this dump is the place?"

"Your place. My crib is an airstream with AC." Chris told Jo with a cocky grin on his face.

Jo rolled her eyes and joined the other campers. "Meh. These conditions will root out the weak soon enough." She quickly noticed Brick preparing to speak to her, but just as quickly put an end to it. "Stay out of my way if you value your kiwis, got it?" Brick grimaced and cowered a bit as the next boat docked and let off its passenger.

"B! Silent B! The B-Man! B-J! Wait, scratch the last one. Anyways, welcome B!"

 **B, the Silent Genius,** cooly stepped on the dock, and stepped over without a word to join the group forming on the end of the dock.

"Next up is Sam!"

"Yo, Sam!" Chris said as **Sam, the Gamer,** finally began to walk across the dock, entranced in the portable game system he was playing in his hands. His attention was not shifted from the console until Chris unceremoniously snatched it up in the same manner as he had taken Dakota's cell phone.

"Hey! I was just about to defeat the level boss and save!" the gamer complained.

"Sucks to be you then." Chris replied. "No electronic devices till you're off the island dude."

"Aww…" Sam whined before slinking off to the other campers.

"You have to be more secretive with your electronics," Sierra told him after he had approached the group. "I have my main phone, back-up phone, and back-up-back-up phone, but I'm gonna wait until we get to camp to pull them out."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "I suppose that I need to be playing them less in the open. Luckily I still have my 2TS, Vstation Lyfe, and one of those little games you get at the fast food places hidden in my luggage bag."

"Say hello to Cameron!"

"Fresh air!" **Cameron, the Bubble Boy,** yelled as he stepped foot on the dock. "A real-life lake! Birds! Other people! This is so exciting!"

"Are you kidding me? Kid, where do you live, under a rock?" Jo snarked.

"No, I live in a bubble."

Chris quickly broke the awkward silence. "Nice to see our campers have already begun to get along. Anyways, welcome Amy and Samey!"

Both of the twins stepped off the boat, with **Samey, the Nice Cheerleader,** carrying large bags of luggage in both hands and **Amy, the Mean Cheerleader,** already walking over to the others.

"Uh, it's Sammy?" Samey meekly responded.

"Amy says everyone calls you Samey, what with you being the second twin and all." the host countered.

"Well, um, yes, but my real name is-"

"Oh my gag, quit being such an embarrassment and just shut up for once." Amy snarled at Samey. "You're already enough of a millstone in real life, quit irritating everyone on the island!" Samey merely sighed and continued to walk over to the other campers with Amy.

Another boat pulled up dropping off two more campers.

"Anne Maria and Staci everyone!"

 **Staci, the Compulsive Liar,** was chattering as she stepped foot onto the dock. "Yah, and my great great great aunt invented the boat engine, before that they just had to move the boats by paddling with their hands, and paddling was invented by my great great great great great grandfather, and before him the boats just floated there and didn't move at all, yeah. Oh that reminds me of my fifth cousin thrice-removed, who invented the floatation device, before him people just thrashed in the water and-"

Staci's ramblings were cut of by **Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject,** aiming a can of hairspray at her, and before the compulsive liar could continue, she was choking in a butt of noxious fumes and quickly passed out.

"She's been like that for _hours_. You'll thank me after she wakes up, don't worry." The fake-tanned Italian girl then began to move over to the group of teens. "Now, nine more coats oughta' do it." She sprayed the hairspray at her hair, and arrived near the others with a screen of hairspray around her, causing several of the campers to burst out coughing.

"My branchioles!" Cameron squeaked.

"Now, for camper number fifteen, let's welcome Alejandro!" Chris announced yet again.

"I cannot express how much of a pleasure it is to be here," **Alejandro, the Seductive Spaniard,** mused as he walked over to Chris and gave him a fist bump.

"Great to have you too dude." the host replied.

"Greetings my friends, from the bottom of my heart I am looking forward to this shared experience." Alejandro said as he sauntered to their side of the dock. "I simply cannot wait to get to know each and every one of you."

"Hubbada, hubbada!" Anne Maria said as she stared at the handsome teen.

The rest of the conscious women were also all swooning over him, with the exception of Sierra and Jo. "He is so overrated by these girls, IMO." she whispered to Jo. "Like, he's cute, but not _hot_ like Chris."

"Yeah, we get it Stalker-erra. You like Chris." Jo rolled her eyes. "Speaking of whom, Chris, can we just move on to the next loser already?"

"I was just about to mention that Jo. Meet Scarlett!"

 **Scarlett, the Quiet Brainiac,** appeared on the end of the dock. She was organizing her bags when Chris greeted her.

"Salutations." Scarlett greeted Chris as she picked up her bag and carried it on her back as she scurried across the dock, not paying attention to any of the campers around her while Chris announced the next arrivals.

"Sugar and Leonard everyone!"

"I bet y'all won't believe this!" **Sugar, the Pageant Queen,** enthusiastically shouted. "One of these here campers is a wizard!"

"That's right," **Leonard, the LARPer,** lisped. "I am a level 87 warlock with optimized mana storage! I can cast many spells!"

"Mana? Is that some kind of meat?" Lightning inquired, causing the campers around him to roll their eyes and some to even facepalm.

"Anyways, I can't wait to compete in this here pageant! I've already won four hundred thirty one of 'em, this will be four hundred thirty two!" Sugar announced as she strutted along to the other campers, quickly glaring at Dakota and pouting to the latter's confusion.

"Next, Dawn!" Chris exclaimed, before the boat left leaving no camper in sight. "Uh, I guess we can go on to the next camper then…"

"Greetings!" **Dawn, the Moonchild,** smiled. Chris jumped up from the surprise, and Dawn then thoroughly looked at the man and frowned. "I can tell that you have a LOT of unresolved childhood issues. I suggest seeing a therapist as soon as possible."

The campers all merely snickered as Chris began to stammer while Dawn continued to stare at him, before the moonchild seemingly floated away to the other campers, arriving near B and Amy.

"Augh! Witch! Samey, switch spots with me! Now!" Amy demanded to Samey, who merely sighed and complied.

Dawn took a glance at both of her neighbors and smiled. "Sammy, B, both of your auras are absolutely lovely shades of purplish-green."

B merely raised his eyebrow at her, before she followed up. "But it suits you!"

"Wait, you actually know my name?" Samey asked.

"Of course, it's right there in your aura between your low self-esteem and your-"

"Hey, you can read auras? Can you read mine?" Zoey approached her as Alejandro took a step back.

Dawn smiled at Zoey. "Indeed-"

"Great, we've all met hippie. Can we get a move on and get to the competition?" Jo snorted.

"Thank you again, Jo. Anyways, welcome Jasmine and Rodney!"

Another boat pulled up and dropped the two off, with **Rodney, the Country Boy,** babbling incoherently and staring at a clearly unsettled **Jasmine, the Outback Survivalist.**

"The dingo's been like that all day, I'm not entirely sure what's been up with him." Jasmine stated, as Rodney continued his babbling and the two walked over to the other campers.

"Jasmine, me, you, peach cobbler, mangled peanuts, on GIRL ISLAND!" Rodney shouted, causing several of the other campers to roll their eyes or raise their eyebrows.

"Let's welcome Shawn the paranoiac and Mike the m-"

"MANGLER!" **Mike, the Insecure Mess,** shouted. "I am, er, Mike the mangler, hehe. Don't get into a fight with me. Or I'll screw you up. Because I'm a mangler. Not anything else."

"…okay?" Chris stated as Mike walked over to the other campers and stood next to Zoey and Dawn. Dawn raised her eyebrow at Mike, and Mike looked nervously back at her.

"Please tell me that there aren't any zombies on this island." **Shawn, the Conspiracy Nut,** nervously asked the host.

"Last time I checked, no there were not." Chris replied.

"I guess I'll trust you for now… but I am not letting my guard down. That's how they get your brains dude, it's when you slip up and get comfortable." Shawn quickly rolled away from Chris over to the twenty-one other teens.

"Uh… okay then. Let's welcome our last two campers, Scott and Topher!" Chris told the 22 teens.

"And after that, we stabbed 'em and put 'em on the grill!" **Scott, the Trailer Trash,** told a clearly uncomfortable **Topher, the Pretty Boy,** who quickly scurried away over to Chris.

"Whatever," he snorted. "It was just some stray cat we found hiding under the trailer. Not like I killed my own pet." The farm boy turned to the other campers and sneered at them. "I guess this is gonna be like taking candy from a baby."

"Yah," Staci chattered as she got back up from the dock. "My great great great Uncle Hershey invented candy. Before him there were no cavities or happiness, yah."

"Someone please tell me she is not at dis again!" Anne Maria wailed as she pulled out her hairspray and held it like a weapon, causing Staci to stop her chattiness.

"Chris!" Topher shouted after he ran up to meet him. "It is an honor to meet THE Chris McLean himself! I adore you, and I keep up with all your gigs, like your figure skating show, nice work!" Topher noticed that Sierra was hatefully staring at him and Chris, but ignored her and smiled at the host once more.

"Thanks man, I knew I rocked that!" Chris shook Topher's hand and the pretty boy walked over to the other campers. "It's nice to see the producers picked such an intelligent young man with good taste."

"I saw that," Zoey explained to the other campers. "One of the guys dropped his partner on her head! They won immunity that week."

"Is that how they win immunity in shows like this in Canada?" Jasmine inquired.

"Uh, no they don't. At least I hope not." Zoey responded to a worried Jasmine.

"Even if they do, I can always cast a mending spell!" Leonard chimed into the two's conversation.

"Can you cast a mending spell for my tummy?" Sugar complained. "I'm STARVIN', I could eat a raccoon's family! Are we finna' eat, Chris?"

"Speaking of 'finna', it's about time we finish off the introductions and get the group photo for the promos!" the host shouted ecstatically.

All twenty-four campers got in their various positions on the other side of the dock and prepared for the host to take their photo.

"Yah, my great great great great aunt Sheila invented posing for photos, before then everyone just stood around in the pictures like super awkwardly, yah." Staci boasted.

"I don't think it was an individual that invented posing." Cameron told her, causing Staci to frown.

"Okay!" Chris called out. "One, two, three-oops!" The campers frowned at Chris. "Okay, forgot the lens cap, anyways, one, two- oh wait, card's full."

"Hurry up already!" Amy exclaimed.

"Got it!" Chris shouted at the relieved cast. "Okay, everyone say, Wawanakwa!"

"Wawanakwa!" The campers shouted back unified at the host, until the dock beneath them collapsed and Chris got several photos of the campers trying to breathe and stay above the water.

"Okay guys, dry off and meet me back at the campfire pit in ten!" Chris instructed as his boat sped off, causing the majority of the campers to groan as they approached the shore.

* * *

Chris stood in front of the campfire pit and the twenty-four campers, who all stood in a relatively straight line behind the stumps.

"Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next two and a half months. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends, you dig?"

Zoey smiled at Jo, who promptly responded by growling at her. She then turned to Jasmine and weakly smiled, and the amazon smiled back.

"The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win one-hundred thousand dollars!"

"Excuse me!" Rodney blurted at Chris. "I'd like to know what the sleeping arrangements would be. Cause, uh…"

Amy gasped and looked at Chris in concern. "They're not co-ed, are they?"

"Nope!" Chris explained to Amy's relief. "Girls get one side of each cabin and dudes get the other."

"I'm assuming I get a cabin with a lake-view to myself, Chris?" Dakota interrupted. "I mean, I am the prettiest one out here."

"Hey!" Sugar shouted. "If she gets a cabin for being pretty, I should too!"

"Okay you are, but that's not really how it works here." Chris explained to Dakota.

"Aww shucks, I know I am, but you don't need to be flatterin' me like that!" Sugar waved her fingers at Chris.

"Samey and I are in the same cabin, there are no 'buts'!" Amy yelled before Chris could respond to Sugar.

"I dunno Amy, maybe we should split up?" Samey nervously asked the host before the meaner twin gasped and grabbed the other twin's hair.

"You take that back or I'll dye your hair neon green. Got it?!" Amy whispered to Samey.

"O-okay… I take it back, we need to be in the same cabin." Samey conceded.

"Here's the deal, we're gonna split you up into two teams. If I call your name out, stand over there."

"Amy, Samey, Topher, Lightning, Rodney, Mike, Scarlett, Jasmine, Dakota, Sam, Alejandro, and… Sierra. From this moment on you are officially known as the Screaming Gophers."

"Sha-cool!" Lightning gloated as he caught the banner.

"The rest of you move to the mat on the left over here. Staci, Cameron, Dawn, Anne Maria, Zoey, Scott, Sugar, Brick, Jo, Leonard, Shawn, and B."

"It's nice to meet you all!" Zoey told them.

Jo quickly shut her down. "Feelings not reciprocated, flower girl."

"You guys will be officially known as the Killer Bass!" Chris tossed a flag over to campers standing on the red mat. The flag was caught by B, who just proceeded to nod in satisfaction.

"Alright campers, you and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition. You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts on tape with video diaries any time you want. Let the audience at home know what you're really thinking, or just get something off your chest."

* * *

 **Zoey:** I am so glad to finally be here, it's so exciting! I signed up for this summer camp because I thought it would be a good idea to get out of town and make some new friends!... or friends, period. Oh, what if they hate me? Maybe this flower is too tacky? Am I trying too hard? You like me right?!

* * *

 **Scott:** I could tell right off the bat this would be a bunch of suckers, hehehe. It'll be easier for me to run this competition over than a tractor over a stray rooster!

* * *

 **Rodney:** The minute I stepped foot onto that boat, I knew me and Jasmine had a connection. (sighs) I didn't sign up for this, but love is love, and we can make it work.

* * *

 **Loon:** (applying lipstick until is sees the camera and honks)

* * *

 **Dakota:** Hey there! Dakota here in the Total Drama confessional, and I just want to let all my loyal, adoring fans know that I'm only in this competition for you! I'll win the one hundred thousand dollars prize for you guys! Wait, that's too repetitive. Okay, (pulls out a hand mirror and begins applying make-up) take two, not too blotchy, alright. (puts mirror away) Hey there! Dakota here in the-

* * *

"Alright, any questions?" Chris asked. Before anyone could respond, he cut them off and continued the introduction. "Cool. Let's find your cabins." Chris led the campers to an area with two cabins that appeared to be in poor shape. Gophers, you're in the east cabin, and Bass, you're in the west." After Chris told them where they would be living for the next two and a half months, the campers dispersed.

"Bunk beds?" Amy complained as she entered the Gopher cabin with Samey following, who was carrying both of their suitcases. "Isn't this kind of… summer camp?"

"That's what you signed up for. Now quit yer honkin' and settle in." Jasmine announced as she walked past Amy and unloaded her bags onto the top of a bunk.

"Yeah, cause you're doing a good job at settling in, giant."

"Oi, I'm just leavin' my bags and stuff in here. I'd have to be one kind of crackers to think I could sleep in one of those puny beds." Jasmine proceeded to walk out of the cabin as Sierra entered the cabin and jumped onto the bottom bunk of a bed.

"Whew-ee! I call this whole bed!" Sierra giggled as she jumped onto the bottom bunk of the bed. "I think I can see Chris's cabin across the lake…"

"Maybe I could have bottom bunk?" Samey asked meekly.

"Um, earth to Samey? I want the bottom bunk!" Amy shrieked at her sister. "How about you consider _me_ for once and quit being so selfish!" Samey just sighed and set her bag on the top bunk.

"I just came by to ask if any of ladies require any assistance." Alejandro stated as he leaned by the doorway of the room.

"Pardon me, but could you move yourself and your belongings away from the door?" Scarlett asked the young man who quickly complied.

"Sí." Alejandro stepped out of the redheads way before resuming his spot. "You wouldn't mind me assisting you, chica?"

"Despite the antiquated and possibly sexist implications of your offer, I'll accept." Scarlett told him as he grabbed her bags and walked into the cabin with her.

"Where are some electric outlets?" Dakota asked the host. "I need to plug in my straightening iron."

"There are some in the communal bathrooms, just across the way." Chris responded.

"Communal bathrooms? Is this some kind of joke?" Dakota complained.

"You can't be serious, Chris!" Topher said from the Gopher porch. "How do you expect me to prepare my face and the hair every morning when I have to share my area with everyone else?!"

"You'll just have to deal with it I guess." Chris responded. Topher sighed and looked down due to the horrible tragedy of having to use public bathrooms, before walking back into the cabin.

"So yeah, my great great great grandfather Hershel invented summer camps, before him people had nothing to do all summer and just stayed inside doing nothing." Staci boasted as she entered the female Bass cabin.

"That's great." Jo said as she shoved Staci out from the doorway and entered the cabin.

"So, uh, where's everybody from?" Zoey asked the ladies as they unpacked.

"I'm from Lloydminister, Alberta! Or Saskatchewan. It's either cause it's a provincial border town!" Sugar exclaimed before pulling out a bra from her bag, sniffing it, and grimacing before throwing it out the doorway onto Cameron, who yelled as he fell down with his luggage with the clothing item covering his head.

"Consider getting out of the way, rag-doll?" Scott grumbled as he stepped on Cameron and rolled his luggage on top of the bubble boy as he made his way to the male Bass's room.

"Hmm, the porch structure seems to be somewhat sturdy." Shawn mused as he stepped foot onto the porch. "Still not enough defense in the event of a walker attack, but I guess it can hold my stuff for now."

"B, soldier, you're brilliant!" Brick said as B stepped away from their window, having installed air conditioning in the cabin.

"Fantastic job Silent Bob." Scott rolled his eyes. "Anyways, ladies, what are the sleeping arrangements going to be exactly? I'd like to get it out of the way before we continue."

"Back in cadet school I used to sleep on the bottom bunk all the time." Brick admitted.

"Wizards always sleep as high above ground as possible to avoid curses from the underworld," Leonard explained. "So I'm going to sleep on the top bunk!"

"Wait, you actually expect me to sleep in here?" Shawn asked. "Are you stupid? Sleeping in this death trap is basically asking for a roamer attack, I'll pass."

"Where could you possibly sleep then?" Cameron asked as he pulled his luggage into the room.

"A tree, duh. Zombies can't climb, and not being near other humans means I keep my brains if one of them turns during the night."

Scott and Cameron raised their eyebrows for a moment, before a scream pierced the air.

"Woah, her scream is just like Princess Plum's. And it's just as loud." Sam stated as the campers gathered in the female side of the Gopher cabin, where Amy stood on a stool, frightened from a single cockroach that was scurrying on the floor.

"Samey, hurry up and kill it NOW!" Amy cried.

Brick shrieked at the sight of the insect, and leaped onto a bunk and causing the bottom bunk to break.

"I guess I can sleep on the floor…" Samey sighed.

Several campers took action and began to stomp around to crush the roach while even more campers screamed as the cockroach moved around the room in confusion. Rodney eventually burst into the room with an axe and prepared to chop the insect in half.

" _Don't you dare hurt that poor innocent creature!_ " Dawn cried before darting over to the rug and scooping up the roach. "There there you pure soul. I know you're just afraid." she cooed as she pet the cockroach, unaware the strange looks several of the campers were giving to her.

"Guh...gir…" Rodney mumbled as he stared at her.

"Uh, are you alright? Your aura looks like someone threw up on it…" Dawn asked Rodney, who was mumbling incoherently. The moonchild shrugged and walked out of the cabin.

"Gross." Amy shuddered as she got off the stool. "I'm not sure what is wrong with her, treating that _vermin_ as a pet. Anyways, Samey, you can have the bottom bunk now. I don't mind sleeping on the top." Samey merely sighed as Brick gave her an apologetic look.

* * *

 **Cameron:** I'm kind of concerned about the bugs out here now. I'm what's known as a "bubble boy". Growing up, my mom was really overprotective, so I've never seen an insect before. Up until six hours ago, I've not seen anything before! Except my educational channels and the textbooks my mom gives me for my studies, I see those all the time. (gasps as he sees a butterfly in the confessional) _Danaus plexippus_? The monarch butterfly?! Woah! (the butterfly lands on his head) So… heavy…

* * *

 **Anne Maria:** Lunch? You're asking if the garbage he served us was _edible_ , let alone good? My girl Louisa-Marie makes better food than their chef, and no offense to her, but the last time she did the grub for gal night the fire alarm went off and my entire crib was soaked. Plus charcoal ain't exactly what I have in mind for movie munchies.

* * *

"LISTEN UP!" Chef shouted at the twenty-four campers gathered in a line in front of his cafeteria stand. "I will serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day! Grab your tray, get your food, and sit your butts down NOW!"

"If I may inquire?" Scarlett asked as she held her tray and Chef dropped a scoop of some red substance on her plate. "Will we be getting a sufficient supply of essential vitamins and a balanced diet? A deficit could cause a deterioration of our physical and mental capabilities, and therefore could impact our ability in competitions in a negative manner."

"You'll be gettin' a sufficient supply of SHUT THE HECK UP!" the chef screamed at Scarlett.

"Sheesh, someone needs a chill pill upgrade." Sam laughed to Leonard.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Chef yelled at the two. "Come closer fat boy, I didn't HEAR you."

"Uh, nothing." Sam said as he grabbed his tray and walked away. "I didn't say anything at all. It was just the wind."

"You're damn right it was the wind." Chef remarked, before dropping an extra big glob of goop on Leonard's tray. "You're lookin' a bit scrawny, so I gave you some extra. Eat up."

Leonard furrowed his brow at the plate, before shrugging and walking off. Dakota moved up in line and glanced at her plate before frowning.

"Uh, excuse me, but my nutritionist says I shouldn't eat any dairy or red meats, because those will totally go to my thighs."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah…" Dakota trailed off while noticing the cook's death glare. "But I think that won't be a problem with this…"

"NEXT!"

"Hit me up, Cheffie." Scott chuckled. "Back on the farm we used to eat dirt sandwiches, so I'm pretty sure no matter how crappy or quick your food is I can eat it."

"It might outrun you…" Anne Maria remarked as she walked away with her filled tray and let the next people in line get their food.

"Yeah, my great great great grandfather Richard invented sandwiches, before him no one knew what to use bread for. And my great great great great great aunt Hillary invented bread, before her people just didn't know how to get anything to eat and starved to death, yeah."

"Speaking of starving to death, Chef, I can't eat this. I think it has an aura…" Dawn told him, to which Chef responded by smashing her sandwich with a mallet. "Right, I'll just sit down now."

"Welcome to the main lodge!" Chris announced as he entered the cafeteria, where the Gophers were eating at one table while the Bass at the other.

"Yo Chris!" Lightning yelled at the host. "This food is really crappy, why can't we just have a burger or somethin'?" The athlete ducked out as a cleaver flew into the wall where his head had been in front of.

"Lightning's cool! Lightning loves brown slop!" he quickly covered before whispering to Sam. "This stuff has at least has protein in it, right?" Sam shrugged as he picked at his slop with a fork.

"Are we allowed to go back for seconds?" Brick asked his team.

"You want more of this crap?" Scott picked his sandwich and showed it Brick, during which the glop crawled out and fell on the floor.

"Back in boot camp, they served stuff like this all the time! It's an acquired taste." Brick explained.

"Attention!" the host called. "Your first challenge begins in ONE hour!"

"What do you think he'll make us do?" Mike asked Zoey.

"It's the first challenge, I'm sure it won't be THAT bad." Zoey comforted him.

The shot of the incredibly large cliff on the east side of the island contrasted what she just said, and while standing at the very edge of the peak Zoey revised her statement.

"I stand corrected…"

* * *

 **Secret Scene**

"Next time on Total Drama!"

Chris looked at the terrified campers and smiled. "Your first task is to jump off the several hundred foot high cliff into the lake."

 **Alejandro:** If Sam was unable to jump, I would've voted him off with no hesitation if we lose. There is no room for weakness on this team during this period in the game.

 **Jo:** I thought two things when it came nerdling's time to jump. One, he doesn't jump and gives my team the win, or two: he frickin' dies.

 **Cameron:** Considering his mass and the height of the cliff, there's a very real possibility he's going to die upon impact with the water. That is, if he even makes it in the safe zone.

"Yep," Sam complained as he turned away from the cliff. "I'm just as screwed as Mowser is when Glario arrives in the castle. And I don't even have any power ups on me."

* * *

 **Post-script**

 **First of all, shout out to Total Drama Do Over and it's author CoGreen2.0 for basically being the inspiration for me creating this. Also a shout out to my friend DerpyandDawn for helping me plan this season and for editing the finished product a bit.**

 **Anyways, expect the next chapter around the end of the month and others to follow. I'm going to be working hard during all of June to write enough episodes to make a regular schedule and so I don't fall behind. It's not like I'm doing anything. :P**

 **Anyways, not much to talk about for the introduction. I enjoyed writing the interactions this ep and look forward to writing the rest of this season. The lack of canon characters is a bit tricky to write, but I'd rather do something difficult and unique than something easy but common.**

 **In case you're reading this after June 5, I edited this because of a few errors I noticed while reading the fic. I also made a few team adjustments, but nothing too major.**

 **Until next time, I'm Milkshake. :)**

 **I do not own Total Drama.**


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